Milipede...

Photo by - Endevourme
Location : Public transport bus in pune. It is fully packed as usual and i have managed to grab a seat. After 2 stops an old woman gets in and is standing nearby. Following is what goes on in my mind.

You must get up and give her your seat.
No! i have to travel quite far, i have done a big fight to get this place so i must remain seated, i must!
You are young and healthy, look at her, she is so old. Standing for half an hour is nothing for you.
But its so much burden for her. Cant you see?
Would she even feel grateful? i have given seat in the past and people dont just bother to even thank you. They think it was anyway my duty to give them my seat.
How does it matter whether they feel gratitude? you must help if you can.
These are all social doctrines, as i have found out, most of them are wrong or relative. This preaching is just to maintain a manageable social atmosphere, nothing else.
It is your moral responsibility to help her.
Moral responsibility? huh! why dont you go and help people on weekends instead of enjoying your days out? there are loads of them needing help!
See you always have to choose between you and others, isnt it?
Yes thats right, but this is nothing, you dont have to do much, its just about standing up for a while! you must give her your seat!
See, these buses are always full, always, and there are old people coming in, does that mean you shouldnt sit at all? and by the way, there are so many young people sitting around and not a single person cares about the old lady, why do you have to?
What others do or dont has nothing to do with your helping people, isnt it?
It has! see now, if i do give her seat, i will grab atleast some attention from onlookers, and what they are going to think?'look he is trying to be a showoff!, is he trying to impress the girl standing there?' and besides, it will do good for her to stand, if she is poor and cant afford going by auto she must get habit of standing, so standing will be good for her!
What a horrible thinking! she is a poor old woman, cant you see?
Its getting ugly and its a sin.
It isnt horrible, i am just trying to say that you must desensitise yourself in order to survive. There are much more horrors in this world. You must learn to live with all this disorder. And you can do lot of things for 'poor old people' on weekends huh?, why dont you do it? Isnt it a sin when you enjoy life when there are loads of people needing help?
hmmm...
And there is nothing like sin, these are age old absolete concepts, just to make people feel guilty so that they get sense of so called 'social responsibility'. And you have been good to people in the past, what happened? Did anyone help you when you were in need? And these are collective responsibilites, arent they? Why should you, only you, when there are others who just dont bother? You must learn to ignore all this, you cant fight everything, things dont work like that.
The old woman gets an empty seat after a few minutes, and the chapter is closed for me.