Thursday, June 08, 2006

Looking Back...

Photo by - Endevourme

These are scribblings from my old diary written long back.For me its like digging my own grave and bringing out myself.Warning:- The post is excessively negative!

My version of "The Matchstick Girl"-
Once upon a time there lived a matchstick girl. she was small, tender, fragile, innocent. she used to sell matchboxes to people and earn her living.
it was christmas. people were celebrating everywhere and there were lights everywhere. people were eating, enjoying cakes, drinks and icecreams with their families. everybuddy was happy.
outside, it was dark, icy and the matchstick girl had no blanket. she was shivering with cold. the day was bad and none of her boxes were sold. she had to earn to get even food for her.
she had no parents and her nanny was dead long back. the matchstick girl had no home.
after walking a lot, she saw an empty house and she entered it. the house was old and had dead remains.
she went inside and sat over the frozen ground.she started feeling too cold.
she took out a matchbox,opened it, took out a stick and scrubbed...
suddenly the four walls got lighted. the single stick gave her some warmth.
she reminded her old nanny. She used to give her cake.the cake...she saw a christmas cake on the wall.
big sweet beautiful, studded with candles, mermaiden with cherries, strawberries.
Suddenly the stick got finished..all was gone...there was utter darkness and cold,as icy as her feet.
the matchstick girl took out one more stick and lighted it. she got some more warmth.
she saw her granny. she was wearing beautiful clothes. her mom and dad... all wearing sunny clothes.
ah! now there was santa. he had lots of toys, fruits and lots of food.
again the stick went off and it was dark everywhere. she lighted another one...
...during the night it went very cold.
next morning while people were passing by the house,they saw a small girl,lying down, dead...
her face white with cold. still innocent. there were burnt sticks everywhere. still her face was cheerful, happy. her face still shining....last night, when she lit her last matchstick, suddenly a fairy appeared.
she had white gown, a magical star in her hand. she was like a princess, a goddess, just like the ones her granny used to tell in her stories. the angel came towards her, took her hand and took the girl with her.
the stick went off ...but now nothing was gone. there was light everywhere, shiny, smooth, silky, beautiful.
the angel took her and went away. now there was no cold , no darkness. her world was full of smiles, wonders,the material thingsshe always only dreamt of. it was warm, there was no pain.
the angel was holding her in her arms. she was everything, her mother, father granny,friend all things all relations she always wanted but never had. she always saw other kids enjoying and moving away with their parents, strong daddies, loving, caring mommies, nannies telling them stories, brothers and sisters to play with, friends to play she had it all. certainly god never gives you more than you can bear.
he will relieve you as soon as he feels you cannot bear it.


endevourme said...

As the post is too negative,
i am planning to remove it sooner or later.

Saroj said...

Don't remove. Very touching.

nirmala said...

This post is nice and touching, y do u feel its too negative ... life is of negative and positive things dat v have to bare sometimes.

endevourme said...

hmmm...letts see :-)

\- life is of negative...
yaa.. so true...
its my past i am scared to look at...
and ... thank you :-)

Pritika Gupta said...

Oh my god it was too touching..y to remove..its a another human emotion..

Rose said...

DONT EVEN THINK OF REMOVING IT!!! If u do I'll personally see to it that ur neck is wrung.. it IS a warning!!! :D

Its a luvly post. Hw old were u when u wrote it?

I luvd the pic agn.. Whenevr I feel suffocated in my modern and claustrophobic office premises, all i need to do is log onto ur blog to see sum greenery and think that im breathing sum frsh air..



chitra said...

The post has nothing negative. it has got the dark side of life which all of us face one time or the other.

endevourme said...

#pritika and chitra,
...but...but it makes us feel sad naa...

thank you very much da,

i was 22 then.
i wrote this sitting in corridor in my office,
that was 20th november, first day of my very first job :-)

please dont do anything to my neck ;-)

Dew Drops said...

man, u got amazing imaginaton :-)

Shama & Diya said...

Don't remove it. I like the moral...God gives us as much as each person can hold (no more no less)..very touching indeed

endevourme said...

#dew drops
thank you very very much :-)

thank you very much da,
for linking on ur blog :-)

well...i wont remove the post,
otherwise rose will make sure that my neck is wrung.

moron said...

Had heard of this story though in fairy tales quite long ago when I was a small.

Its still very fresh in my mind. Whenever i hear it a strong sensation of kindness runs across my heart.

Don't remove it though.Its your own blog and ur own thinking. Let it be as it is.

Great to read your blog.


anamika said...


its a nice post. i remember feeling choked with saddening emotion when i read this story as a child. but how you end it..with a special touch very heartening...

try some more..:-)

endevourme said...

thank you for visiting my blog

thank you for coming here :-)
/-feeling choked
thats exactly how i too feel...

/-some more
but it will become a sad blog then :-(

endevourme said...

I was thinking,
instead of 'the matchstick girl',
it were 'the matchstick boy',
the post would be very different!

...and if endevourme were a girl and not a boy,
the same blog, same posts, would give a different touch!

Seema said...

Hi, this is such a lovely n touching post...loved the last sentence "certainly god never gives you more than you can bear.
he will relieve you as soon as he feels you cannot bear it"...n as everyone said its a very nice post..please let it be !

Jay said...

Well, it has a message too. So the negativity ... is dampened out.

Did you ask, what was the message? ;-)

"he will relieve you s soon as he feels you cannot bear it."

True! If he hasn't relieved you, then it means you should be able to tide over this, right? So, i guess in a way it has its own positive point!

endevourme said...

thank you very much da :-)

thank you :-)
in fact this is the first part of 4 pages which i wrote.
and after this story, i have written all positives...
that too i will post soon...